God did something for me this summer. I write so I never forget.

I did not like this summer. Spiritually, it was hard on me. Every day I felt mentally and emotionally assaulted, not by anyone, but by the enemy that seemed to reside very powerfully for 2 months at a summer camp I was at. It's hard to convince people when you're being abused spiritually because you are the only one who feels the way you feel...unless others around tend to be experiencing the same symptoms but don't know how to put a name on it. Early on, several people were having headaches, nightmares, and having problems sleeping (including myself). But a core group of us started praying hard for a few weeks. But most of the people who were praying kind of forgot about it when God started acting to protect us a bit. Needless to say, the one kind of assault that did remain was the assult on who I was as a man of God and who I was as a person. Knowing that little pre-story, I want to tell you how God delivered me and why he brought me there.

God continued to show me how he loved me. I need to write this so I never forget He, my Father loves me. It really started on august 7th of 2009. I woke up to the song in my head, "How he loves me" by John mark Mcmillan. It's a song I've only heard 2-3 times in my life. Out of nowhere, it wouldn't leave my head the entire day. I sang the chorus over and over and over with one part of a verse about a sloppy wet kiss over and over again, then "oh, how he loves us."

Saturday:
The day I was going to leave I went to pray. But this day I went to pray was different. I was angry and I was going to give God a piece of my mind. I screamed up through the forest in my car down an old timber road, stone faced, ready to cry if I was it bit more easily released of my emotions. So I yelled at God. I got out of my car, and walked to a nice spot and I cried out to God as loud as I could yell telling him how angry I was. "why am I here God?" "why did you send me here?" "I hate it" So God listened well and let me yell some before he calmed me down and then he showed me exactly why I was there. He wanted to stretch me. To make me stronger in spiritual warfare. It hurt so bad. I hated that camp. I hated the constant spiritual mental abuse telling me I wasn't worth it. That spirit of desolation was cruel and I prayed every single day against it. So I asked God, once I was calmed, "what time should I leave?" I got a strange word out of nowhere saying, "after basketball." I had been learning to listen to God because I know how he wants us to know his voice. So I thought that God said "after basketball." Honestly I shrugged it off as my own weirdness. I really wanted to leave right away, but felt for some reason it would be better to stay and see what's going on first.

When I finally got back to the camp, I walked over to the waterfront to see everyone. Low and behold, what happens? One of the high school workers at the camp asks me if I want to play basketball. I kind of thought...well maybe. Then I walked over to the fence and tracy, a girl worker at the camp asks me if I want to play basketball. Taking the hint, I say, "sure!" After this game, I decided I needed to go because this was after basketball, and so I did. I had no clue why, or even if God really told me after basketball. All I know is something in me told me that's what I should do.

I made it back to redding and Simeon, my buddy in redding is playing some basketball (strange, but yes). We talked some and he told me his friend hannah (who I know also) was inviting some people over. He said we could go after we played basketball (yes, I'm not joking, this is what he said). The events from here on in, I promise to you actually happened. The ones before also did, but they aren't as strange. Simeon said that if I came earlier, we could have gone to church, but I came a little later so we went to hang out with hannah and some of her friends.

So we're at hannah's house, eating. After we eat, we all played instruments so we decided to just have our own little worship service. Our guy with the guitar starts singing "how he loves us." I'm not going to lie, this song woke me up automatically. Not only was it the song that I could not get out of my head for an entire 12 hours the day before, but now it stirred my heart in a new way. I felt God confirming these words to me as we sang. Then we started singing "oh how he loves me," suddenly, I knew a whole new meaning of it all. God said, "I love you" in that song to me, not vocally but I realized something. I haven't been singing this song to him, he was singing it to me, he loves me. You don't understand what this meant to me after 2 months of mental torture with even my sister (unbiological, but she is my sister) hardly talking to me. I don't think it was her fault but it hurt me anyways and it left me with God so for that, I thank her.

After the song, our lead guitar guy asked us if anyone had a word. A nice guy named micheal looked directly at me and says, "you, I have a word for you matt." This is the first day I've ever met this guy. He said to me, "you are like a brick wall. Spiritual warfare will not be able to beat you. Spiritually you've been through alot this season, and God is making you strong." He said things along that line. He was 100% dead on. God was truly making me stronger and this was the second confirmation that day of what he was doing for me. That's why I went there and he was with me the entire time. That's why I came after b-ball. He loves me. He made those words in my mind till I was tired of it.

He loves you too. And it was a hard but a worthwhile summer. In the end. It's worth it all. I'd also like to thank everyone who prayed for me this summer, ezra, tom,dean, carolyn, simeon, and my parents. It all was working very powerfully.

Thank you Daddy, my strong Father. I'll always love you.

Of Renown (Luke 3:23-38)

One thing I like to think about is being in some sort of great story. Maybe even some sort of hero in that story. We as a society are constantly bombarded with these stories of heros saying "you are something special," but we leave the movie, or get done with the book and go to work, go to school, maybe we have a girlfriend or a boyfriend we met in a completely ordinary way and forget who we are. We think, "we are not in these stories." I know we have those dreams in the back of our minds. It's the reason shows like "heros" are so popular, why those kids in high school played with magic cards at lunch time, and the reason every year a new superhero movie comes out and people flock to see it. It's why people dressed up to see the Lord of the Rings or stand in huge lines to see the new Harry Potter movie. Our desire to be in that great adventure is peaking out through desperately. I want so badly to think of those childish fantasies and to know they're true. I never dreamed that it was true, until Jesus came along.

The gospel of Luke describes this Son of man not merely coming as a small child, but storming the beaches as armies of angels sing about his victory in once lonely fields. Luke doesn't describe Jesus as a story and only a story, but as a real historical figure and fact, who uniquely fulfilled the ancient prophesies. His foretold genealogy is proved in Luke 3:23, not beginning with Abraham like in the gospel of Matthew does, but from the beginning of all humanity. It all started with Adam, "the son of God" (Luke 3:38). He was the first son of God. Adam messed up in the garden, but as the snake crept in again, Jesus came later proving that he was able to stand the test of temptation where Adam failed. It wasn't proven in a garden this time, but here in the wilderness. It's a real irony that the spirit led Jesus into a deserted land demonstrating a real life result of the first choice by Adam in the beginning. Jesus isn't surrounded by food like in the garden, but instead he's surrounded by hunger. The tester is the Prince of this world, but Jesus prevailed where the rest of us couldn't. Luke goes through and names ancient rulers of the time in complete accuracy, not slipping up with a single historical event. By this he was proclaiming this Christ as a man who actually walked this earth. We're in this story for all time. This is reality.

David was given a promise in 2 samuel 7:13-14 of a kingdom that will never pass away. We as a people are between the resurrection of the historical Jesus Christ and the coming of him again with power. We live in this amazing story. Someday when it's all over, and this kingdom is established, the new heaven and earth will see us and we'll tell the story of how we lived on the same earth that the savior of the universe walked on as a man. Death and murder will be a shadow and the king will have returned to rest on his throne. We're in this epic story of hate versus love. The ultimate story, the ultimate battle and the undying love for one another. We are the men and women of renown old times in a time where the enemy is still at large. Gird your loins, move to battle my brothers and sisters. This is the only time of battle that ever will be again. Lets give them hell.

Take strength...
"For this I (we) toil,struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me."
-colossians 1:29

"He has delivered us from the domination of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved son,in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
-colossians 1:13

The Day is Good

There is so much beauty. I looked out this evening and watched the sun set. It had this purple and red tone to it as huge clouds drifted to the sides. They were saying, "there's only One true painter. All this he's made is good." I love my God, my true father. When I'm tired, he gives me rest, when I'm sick, he makes me well. He's always been there for me and he makes it obvious to those around me. If God can glorify himself in me, my life is his, my life is full. So much peace, so much goodness.





In that day you will say:
"I will praise you, O LORD.
Although you were angry with me,
your anger has turned away
and you have comforted me.

2 Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation."

3 With joy you will draw water
from the wells of salvation.

4 In that day you will say:
"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.

5 Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things;
let this be known to all the world.

6 Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion,
for great is the Holy One of Israel among you."

Satisfaction

I was thinking tonight, why are we so desperate for anything. Tonight I was Christmas shopping. I saw a man standing outside asking for money for a mission. He smiled and said "Merry Christmas" as I gave him money with some sort of almost sad and thankful look, like I was the only person who gave anything that night. I saw a man in a much more hidden outside face walking around back and forth to his friends. His pants looked like pajamas, his hair looked bushy but his face seemed covered with his own expressions. Then there's me, I know I fail so much. I wonder how God loves wretches like us, wretches like me. My lips are dry tonight, my throat is a mirror of the same. My heart is needy. I feel like I fall so much, I'm so desperate for touch, for anyone to say, you're doing good, you're heart is in the right place, but even if I get that, I feel like I know the truth about me. It's just me who thinks this? We are so needy, so wanting, so desperate like children. God knows we need him, he knows were children, or even sheep. We fall in a pit with our legs broken but he comes down to help us out. I know he does because the only time I've ever felt a hint of satisfaction in anything I do is when I'm so hurt and tired and down and gave him my pain. I love the verse, "cast your cares on him because he loves you." I've never known that verse to be more true in my life then these times. He loves us. Give him your cares, any little pain and in that place there's that joy that David talked about. I don't know if you remember the story. It's right after he seduced Bathsheba. David called out to God with all the passion left in him, "restore in me the joy of my salvation." There's a joy. If there isn't a joy, you're not accepting the whole gift he gave for you. Lord, I love you, restore in me the joy of my salvation. I need you, desperately, I love you. Without you I'm lost, I'm just living in the pit. You're my real love, my real joy, my real satisfaction. The manna in the desert, by your word is my life, help me Jesus, I love you.

Dedication

This is all for you my Lord. My thoughts are so small but in them, let them glorify you. I dedicate this blog to you. Let your will on earth be done as it's done so perfectly in heaven. If we could have it the way you want it, everything would be better. You want for me, what I would want if I knew what you knew. I love you.

Matthew Kelly

Welcome

Intro:
I've spent time talking to many atheists in my time. They deny that Jesus is who he is. I constantly have to go back to my sources and cite everything to them over and over again. So I dedicate this blog to God, the true Father. I'll most likely post my own thoughts, but first and foremost, I'm going to lay down some very basic evidence for Jesus Christ,fully cited. If there is any question or controversy over it, let me know and I'll add to it or refine the blog to make it more understandable. Nothing is worth anything without love. I do this with love.

The Promised Christ?
The Jewish people for many years knew and expected a coming savior. There are over 300 identified prophesies describing the Messiah in the Old Testament that the Jewish people relied on. Just like the Jewish people expected a savior to rise up to save them from Egypt rule and release them from the strong fist of slavery, the Jewish people began to believe that God would again politically deliver them from the Roman empire. 1 First the term Messiah appears 39 times in the O.T (Old Testament).Lets examine some of the most blunt prophesies about the Messiah.