Lament of an Older Son

I was giving my lament to God tonight. I had a bad day. I don't know why exactly I need to work so hard and have long tired days. I don't feel like I get any reward for my work! About that time I was reminded of "the prodigal son" story. You know how everyone wants to be the younger son because the party at the end is about him? Well, I'm not that, I'm the older son. I was always a bit hyper and risky, but I'm also very responsible. It's a strange mix, yes. I feel like I have it bad,and others, not as dedicated for as long a time as I have,(prepare for the "pity party") been able to hear God better. Maybe what I'm hearing is God (I've thought He would be more clear though). What the heck do I have to complain about then? I'm pretty sure He speaks to me, just not the way I assumed. I just need to refine my ears. I guess I am at fault then! About this time I read Luke 15:25-32 "son you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found." God will give me what I need when I ask. He has everything. I have faith and am believing. God will provide for me to get through school. I need my car. Lord, you will provide all things. I need the ability to finish my assignment (and hey You just did,hence the reason I have time to type this up). You will provide.I love You Lord.

Your older son,

Matthew

(success update....I got the money to use my car! The army finally paid me!)

thoughts....

When I woke up from my coma, this was surprisingly the thing I was thinking and it brought me to a renewed passion for God. Not that I didn't know it, but I just never saw the boldness of this truth. So obvious, why didn't the reality of this hit me before?

"There is no law that disorder comes to order...The second law of thermodynamics says that entropy naturally increases,NOT the opposite...

How exactly, can order come from disorder? If i you found a computer in the desert, would you say it just came together over millions of years?No,but the organic brain is a thousand times more complicated ( i don't know factually how many times more complicated,but i think it's safe to say "alot"). Can anyone really stake their life on a contradiction?

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entropy

2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_law_of_thermodynamics"

....I don't know how relevant the evolution/creationism debates are these days, but I think the 2nd law puts it to rest. Regardless, I've found that as a true witness, we can have is love, and service. People don't really take notice if confronted with fact, at least I become very sensitive of that as of late. Or it's to hard to process at that time. They will either think of some thing else or use a made up excuse to divorce the idea. We all do that though.

Aggressive Mercy

I learned today something I never really knew the meaning of. Do you know what "grace" really is? It's aggressive mercy. It's forgiving, going the extra mile and helping to heal the issue in their life. It's what God freely gives. He gave us forgiveness, then invites us to live with Him in His royal kingdom. That's what I love about my Father and I totally don't deserve what He gives. It's like if someone stole my car then they were caught and the police said, "here's 1000 bucks and you can go on your way." It's grace, it's aggressive love that pays for all, even the persons the persons own wrong choices. This concept can change peoples lives. It's so amazing. For so long it's been portrayed itself as just "mercy" by itself, to me. I love You so much Lord.

-Matthew

homework: watch "Les Misérables" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oni72Fl7xaw