Everthing (1 corinthians 1)

So much affliction. If you ever want to be a serious follower of Christ who fully relies on God for EVERYTHING, it's human nature not to really love something ( or maybe just male) unless you have traveled through with it, and were tested with it ( God's will "allowed," not caused). Because once you're through, you will be stronger.But all the while, He held me through it. I believe this injury is a test. I'm learning to really need God (and know it myself) because I can rely on nothing else. I couldn't really before (rely on something else), now more than ever I know it would just fall away. I need Him for money, I need Him to get me through school,and I need Him for peace. I love You Jesus, I love you my God. He is my sustainment. If I would have never gone through this, I would have never truly known who/what I rely on. I made a conscious choice to follow to the end. It's just what Paul says in vs. 9. I am made to rely on my true salvation (Christ). I could die but death is gain through the Christ, Jesus.

I love you father, Lord hold me in this great affliction. You always have. I struggle through this. If it means going through this again, to be closer to You, it's worth it.

-matthew

Unity (1 Corithians 7:1-16)

I think of the beauty God made for us to enjoy. Unity with someone other than just yourself is how we were meant. Pure unity is beautiful. It's a balance where one guards for the other to make themselves whole. Not only partial anymore, but a complete being. Our bodies not our own. I believe the making of a man and woman, is to make us whole. God being One is complete in and of Himself, He is whole. For us to be like that would be near God-like. We don't want that, there can only be One. We don't understand it, but He has perfect unity in Himself. There is no part of Him that needs or desires anything like us. For me, part of me wants a candy bar, part of me wants to be rich and famous. The other part of me wants a carrot and wants exercise. The part of me that doesn't want riches and popularity reasons that, that would be alot of strain on me. With money comes alot of responsibility. I would much rather be content with depending on God for money (He got me this far), He takes the responsibility there. Maybe someday... With fame I would have the strain of always saying the right thing. I would have the strain of doing the most awesome thing and in style. I'm just not ready for that. In God He is perfect love. He is perfect life. He has money, He has fame, but He is big enough to take it. And for that I'm thankful. In a deep relationship our unity isn't "perfect" but it does the job. God has perfect unity in Himself, and this God loves His creation. He would humble Himself to save us. He always wins. I love you God.

-matthew

p.s. thank you girl for a nice start :) It's funny how my devotional for the day matched up.

water walk (matthew 14:22)

I knew this would come. I know logically the Lord is powerful. I know He is there for us but satan whispers "what if." What if He doesn't love you, what if He isn't who you believe He is? But He is that. Why else would He give us beauty to look at? Why else would fruit or vegetables taste good at all? Why do we laugh or have freedom to do anything? If I want to play in the creek now , I can. Why else would He create a world the way it is if He wasn't who I know He is.

Lord,take this from my mind. This is.....not....me...Well the questioning thing is me but not the doubt of something I know is true. As far as I know I will always give over everything, with no regard to my own gain, I know logically,"what is the point of us?" I must accept the purpose God Himself places on us, only then, we have worth because He says we do. In and of myself I have nothing I can gain and nothing to lose. I'm aware that,that may sound prideful to even say that but it's still just me. All is worthless if it doesn't get eternal gain! Only God matters. Father call me out to walk on water and I'll do it. I may not be successful all the time but I'll go....

this is a continuation this day, like two min. after....

I believe God has me now on a water walk, questioning... "are you really going to step out....I say YES!! Because I'm more vulnerable now then I've ever been before, I'm calling back to the Lord "if you really want me to walk, call me out." If I fall, I fall, if I stand, I gain beyond my dreams. I'll have the Lord. I think we all do this in one way or another. God lets us know Him and we accept Him. Peter is thinking in simple terms, "if He is God and the Christ, I can walk on water." What can you stop if it's God will? Peter sought to prove something to Himself and ended up finding his own limit. He looked at the waves and rage around him. He then found he was weaker to do it himself, he found true power in God.I love You Father.