beauty (matthew 26)

You made this world so beautiful and delicate. Not exactly cushy, but beautiful. That tells me something about what you value. You are amazing God for so many reasons but I will focus on just one, You value beauty. Trees are beautiful, the sky,the water,humans and animals. It's all so artistic. Even the words and poetry You write in everything. You enjoy beauty. That makes me proud to serve You Lord. You're like none other we can even dare to imagine. You brought beauty to earth and we shoved that is Your face by distorting Your Son. Yet you still love us O' that I could return Your love, not through hate or perversion but make it new. I can't wait till this is all made right, all that was meant to be good(this world). Peace,love, and joy will remain powerful. No longer will perversion rule this world. I can't wait.

I love You Father. I run for You

matthew 23 (just a little p.s. cometary about it,not the actual entry,i'll keep that one to myself)

I love you Jesus

i admit it i'm totally in love with you. I'm not ashamed. The thing is, you are a mans man, you are who i aspire to be , though everything fall away, You are, Your strong arms have me, They have me tight none can ever steal me away. You are like the man anyone seeks to be, You are the definition. I'm privileged to be in Your likeness because You are what a human truly can be. You make us like Yourself but Your a true Father. You love to love, You have adventure in Your heart, You are epic (the very sense of the word),kind,strong, and love music. Though if everyone were to leave me, You simply are and I will serve You.

I love You, never get tired of that from me. It will last forever, I will shout it,Your brave son (You made me that way after all),

Matthew Kelly

p.s.toss it all aside you lose nothing when you have the King on Your side.

(Lord, men are just half.Women are the other half of your personality.That's why they are to be valued by us men. That's why we are to make part of you when we come together)

I know this is unorthodox theology but I'm just saying what I believe is put on my heart to glorify God we serve. He is passionate and His truth is shown in the scriptures I post to prove to you who He is.

needy

O'Lord i need you desperately today. I feel small and needy. I don't know how this will all work out. You can save me. You are all powerful. Use me to talk to people, to glorify you. It may be pathetic to an outsider who doesn't know my head. but this is really hard. Carry me.

Father will never give up

Lately this section has been hitting me alot and it's not normal to remember because i have a HEAD INJURY.Did you get that?So i think God has placed it on me. It's matthew 14:22-33. Jesus walks on water without a boat and the sailors are spooked because they see Jesus walking on water.Walking on water isn't normal if you haven't realized that.Peter asks "if that is really you call me out to come walk to you." Jesus says, "come" Peter starts walking. And looks around him and sees the waves, and fears. He takes his faith off Jesus. Jesus stoops down and asks"why did you doubt?" Jesus obviously gave him no reason to doubt. The obvious question sunk deeper than Peter would ever go. Then they walked back to the boat. I imagine, they do it hold hands. Jesus is such a good Father. He will never let us go,He doesn't with me. Even when we don't see Him right there. He reaches to hold our hand. He pulls us up.That is my Father..... He'll never give up. I want to be like Him. I hope He's proud of me now.

And tonight I had so much freedom. I jogged and drove.

I love you Lord.

flimsy world treasures

Strangely i've been getting this alot. Yesterday,this was my devotional then in the evening this was a men devotional but in Mark 10 not Matthew 23. That word "give it all up and follow me."

O'Lord you are my King, You have ultimate wisdom. I know i'm locked up right now. Let me be until i've learned what i need to know so I can glorify my kingdom. Your word speaks of pharisees being blind, If they would turn to you, they would have real treasure that you give. So here i am, i have nothing. I give you all. Use me for your glory. Don't let me be for this flimsy worldly treasure. I would give You all. Cover my shameful nakedness.

Father, You never give up. You saved us regardless. For Your goodness, I thank You. Lord, continue to heal me.

Soar training

I just learned this recently from my "very wise Father" (not the heavenly one, but i'm sure He had something to do with my thought now). You know about eagles? They don't just flap to get everywhere. They don't simply glide either. When gliding you eventually hit ground because soon you need to flap to get back up there. And little birds can fly but instead of gliding they only can just flap till they get to the next tree. But eagles soar. They are big enough so they enough to get in the wind stream so they can glide with the wind, on top of it.Thats what God is teaching us to do. To let Him carry us along instead of flapping till we can't flap any more.

Right now I'm experiencing the total complete lack of ability to do what i've always done before. I've always trusted myself to be "strong,"and Him, and trust Him for the rest i couldn't handle. Thats not wrong, it was right at the time,but not in this training for the ministry God has called me to, I'm learning to trust God even for money, and food. I could provide that for myself in the past. But right now,i can't do what i used to do now.I must depend on God for all those things. I depended on nothing for as long as i was in a coma, and it got me well taken care of.So why can't we just trust not in ourselves but God who promises He will provide. He even dresses the flowers of the field and they look better than Solomon (Matthew 6:25-34). But now He is teaching me "to make it in this world requires you to trust in me." I'm especially learning this for God's calling in my life.That tells me that i'll go through many times of need. I just need to trust I'm in His hand, secure. Read...

Isaiah 40:31.

"but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

We will find rest if we trust in His ways.

just plain honest.questions and confirmations

Lord my God, and Father. I trust in you, be patient with me because of my questing heart. To be completely honest, my lips say one thing and my actions sometimes do another. I desire deeply to have Faith in your word but i look around me and just don't know if Your hand is on things done because I can explain why its happening because of nature. For example, if I cut a tree, I know it will grow back.I can see it.That's the reason I have trouble (this atheist mentality is why You want me as a witness, Sampson was super strong, David was really handsome,Paul was book smart. I can prove You are true and live. I love you.). Lord I ask you to give me unexplained things to show your presence. My list right now is.....

1.the existence of everything in general

2.a bush

3.Heck that i live now after a car crash i should have died in.

4.a special and beautiful girl, who had faith that i would love her when i woke(that's super unexplained because i didn't even try, she was just there for me to meet when i first saw her at a friend's house before the crash)

That is faith, the sensitivity on her heart. That is special that i would be able to find this girl,out of so many others.Let your will be done. You have a plan to help me,Not harm me (Jeremiah 29:11).